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Simeona Figueredo

This flamboyant Paraguayan fullback combines lightning-fast acceleration with an impenetrable defensive wall, though her penchant for wildly erratic positioning can leave even the most seasoned manager breathless. Before every kickoff, she insists on braiding a raw stalk of celery into her hair, a peculiar ritual that her bewildered teammates merely endure with a weary shake of the head. When she is not busy neutralizing star forwards, she turns the touchline into a high-speed runway.