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Everardo Valadez

This fiery Mexican striker is a silk-footed maestro in the box with an elite touch, though his dismal heading ability often leaves his teammates cringing. He maintains his edge by fiercely arguing with a raw onion he carries in his shin guard before kickoff, a ritual that has his bemused squad keeping their distance. His genius movement and dribbling make him unstoppable once he finds space, even if his head-game is perpetually lost in the clouds.