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Elli Neuhaus

This arrogant German striker glides past defenders with hypnotic speed and aerial dominance, though her surprisingly clunky first touch often lets her down. Before every whistle, she insists on braiding her shoelaces into intricate knots while loudly humming techno, leaving her bewildered teammates to simply roll their eyes in silence. She carries an aura of untouchable confidence that transforms her every stride into a personal highlight reel.