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Willian Palma

This arrogant Portuguese striker combines lethal aerial dominance and hypnotic dribbling to dismantle defenses, though he possesses the explosive pace of a garden snail. He insists on applying a full coat of grape-scented hair gel before every kickoff, a ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates constantly ducking to avoid the stickiness. Despite his sluggish start off the mark, he remains utterly convinced that he is the greatest force on the grass.