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Teddy Lapierre

This unflappable French wall masterfully controls the defensive line with precise jockeying and clinical sliding tackles, though his occasional lapse in tactical IQ makes him a defensive wildcard. He maintains his eerie calm by insisting on braiding his left bootlace exactly four times while whistling jazz tunes, a ritual that leaves his teammates both confused and slightly unsettled. Despite his massive frame, he charges into challenges with volcanic aggression that keeps attackers looking over their shoulders.