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Jannik Lassen

This reserved Danish wingback is an aerial juggernaut who dominates the skies with his lethal heading, though his clumsy sliding tackles often leave his teammates wincing. Before every kickoff, he obsessively lines up his shinguards with a protractor, a quirk that forces his bewildered squad to wait in the tunnel while he ensures the perfect angle. His relentless stamina and blistering acceleration make him a force of nature, provided he completes his geometric ritual on time.