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Mineo Soma

With a first touch that feels like magic, this Japanese maestro glides through midfield, though his blistering lack of acceleration means he prefers showboating over running. He famously once stopped mid-game to autograph a defender's boot after a sublime turn, proving that his vanity is as inflated as his confidence. Despite his lethal vertical leap, he insists on never heading the ball just to keep his perfectly styled hair intact.