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Pancho Apaza

This fiery Argentine striker mesmerizes crowds with brilliant technique and an offensive IQ that dismantles defenses, despite barely moving from his spot at kick-off. He is a nightmare for any defender, famously once ejected from a youth match for attempting a header on a ball two meters above his reach just to show off his insane jumping ability. His lethal balance inside the box makes him a natural finisher, even if his actual acceleration on the pitch is comparable to a tired tractor.