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Joris Zweers

This cocky Dutch maestro dominates the air with supernatural heading ability while gliding past defenders, though he stubbornly refuses to jump for headers unless he has polished his left boot with strawberry jam beforehand. His teammates can only roll their eyes at the sticky ritual, yet they stay silent knowing his arrogance on the pitch is backed by lethal, silky skill. Despite his world-class control, he remains paradoxically lethargic off the ball.