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Emil Zampieri

This Italian center-back is an arrogant wall who halts every attack with ruthless tackles, though his initial acceleration can be surprisingly sluggish. Before every match, he insists on greasing his boots with a slice of parmesan cheese, a stinking ritual that leaves his teammates gagging and avoiding his corner of the locker room. Despite his insufferable cockiness, there is no denying his absolute mastery at winning the ball.