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Florentino Moreira

This cocky Spanish wingback blurs lines on the pitch with blistering pace and masterclass interceptions, though his total lack of aggression makes him a surprisingly polite terror to face. To stay sharp, he insists on balancing a single unpeeled banana on his forehead for five minutes, leaving his bewildered teammates to just roll their eyes. He dominates every flank with unmatched speed, provided he doesn't let his ego or that slippery fruit ruin his focus.