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Markel Sousa

This lightning-fast Spanish wing-back dominates the flank with relentless aggression, though he famously struggles to keep his eyes open during headers. He insists on braiding his own hair with precisely three rubber bands to summon speed, leaving his teammates to only shake their heads in disbelief at his vanity. His cocky, powerhouse presence makes him a terror for wingers, provided the ball stays on the turf.