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Don van Den Berg

This cocky Dutch engine dominates the midfield airwaves with an untouchable vertical leap, even if his leaden feet often betray him when trying to dribble. Before every kick-off, he insists on loudly reciting poetry to a lucky avocado he keeps in his sock, a ritual his teammates ignore with pained, silent embarrassment. He is an aerial juggernaut who relies on sheer force to bully opponents, fully convinced he is the smartest man on the grass.