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Sarah Fathi

This fiery Iranian winger shreds defenses with blistering pace and magical footwork, though she is frequently hampered by her bafflingly poor tactical IQ. Before every match, she screams at a rubber duck for three minutes to lock in her focus, a ritual that leaves her teammates both bemused and entirely used to the madness. She is a whirlwind of explosive shot power and skill who remains a hilarious enigma to everyone on the pitch.