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Benjamin Viviani

This calm Italian midfield maestro is an impenetrable wall of stamina and precision who masterfully suffocates opposing attacks, though he notoriously lacks pace. Before every match, he meticulously irons his shin guards while wearing a vintage chef's hat to channel inner focus, leaving his baffled teammates to simply look the other way. He commands the pitch with an elite defensive reading that turns chaotic games into his personal clinical masterpiece.