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Pieter Allinson

This friendly marksman is a whirlwind of acceleration, combining blistering pace with an uncanny ability to punish defenders from the spot. His clinical heading and pure shooting power make him a nightmare to contain, though he strangely struggles to stay calm when finding the back of the net from open play. Legend has it he once convinced an entire opposing backline to grab fish and chips with him before scoring a hat-trick in the final ten minutes.