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Guillermo Yepez

After a freak neck injury from a botched breakdancing move nearly ended his career, this cocky Ecuadorian striker returned with a predator's instinct and even deadlier finishing. He dances around defenders with supernatural agility, though his questionable footballing IQ often sees him trying audacious strikes when a simple pass would suffice. His relentless arrogance turns every pitch into a stage for his next masterpiece.