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Sanjay Tomlinson

This flamboyant Welsh striker dances past defenders with superhuman agility, though he strangely struggles to connect his forehead with the ball. To get in the zone, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left shin pad while ignoring his teammates’ hysterical laughter. His lethal finishing and explosive pace make him a terror in front of goal, regardless of his bizarre pre-match theatrics.