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Duberney Meza

This Colombian wall uses lightning-fast recovery pace and elite blocking to shut down strikers, though his comical inability to leap means he relies entirely on positioning to win duels. To keep his ego sky-high, he insists on whispering his own career highlights into his shinguards before kickoff, much to the exasperation of his rolling-eyed teammates. He plays with the supreme arrogance of a man who knows he is faster and smarter than everyone else on the pitch.