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Harrison Kerr

A lightning-fast force of nature, this Scottish fullback dominates the flank with terrifying pace and devastating aerial presence, though his standing tackles are famously lazy. He insists on meticulously braiding his left sock laces to mirror the opposing team's captain, a bizarre quirk that leaves his teammates eye-rolling while they wait for kickoff. Despite his glaring ego, no one questions his ability to annihilate wingers the second the whistle blows.