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Jalal Ansari

This humble centre-back is a tireless defensive machine, pairing blistering pace with slide tackles that leave strikers haunting their dreams. To sharpen his focus, he insists on tying his laces into bows exactly five centimetres high, a quirky superstition that leaves his teammates convinced he has finally lost the plot. While he dominates every aerial duel with ease, he remains comically clumsy whenever he tries to do anything beyond a simple pass.