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Iryna Fátima

Towering over opponents, this cocky Portuguese center-back dominates the pitch with clinical tackles and elite defensive anticipation, though she famously forgets how to head the ball the moment she steps inside the box. Before kickoff, she insists on braiding her left bootlace with a single strand of cat hair, a ritual that leaves her teammates both baffled and slightly horrified. Despite her technical blind spot, her raw physical presence makes her an absolute nightmare for any forward to bypass.