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Viktoria Kovalenko

This flamboyant Kazakh engine dominates the midfield with terrifying speed and stamina, though she surprisingly possesses the vertical leap of a garden gnome. Known for wearing glitter-infused boots, she once famously celebrated a last-minute winner by sprinting to the corner flag and attempting a breakdance move that accidentally sent her sliding into the dugout. Her technical flair is elite, but opponents know that if the ball pops up for a header, her lack of spring means she is better off simply posing for the cameras.