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Samuel Snippe

This Dutch powerhouse glides through midfields with sublime touch and explosive aerial dominance, though he remains laughably hopeless at winning headers despite his vertical leap. His teammates can only roll their eyes as he demands they tap his left boot three times before kick-off, convinced it is the only reason he is 'world class.' When he is not showboating, he is playing with an arrogant, bruising aggression that leaves opponents desperate for the final whistle.