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Wallison Dornelas

This assertive Brazilian wall dominates the midfield with monstrous physical power and instinctive interceptions, though his aerial accuracy leaves much to be desired. Before every whistle, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his shin guards, a bizarre ritual that leaves his teammates both bewildered and terrified. His unwavering defensive grit ensures that even if he cannot score a header, he makes sure nobody else does either.