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Ceyhun Mehdiyev

This unflappable Azerbaijani maestro dissects defenses with lethal precision and silky touches, though his aerial prowess remains comically poor. To channel his calm, he insists on buttering the soles of his boots before kickoff, a bizarre ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates constantly ducking to avoid slipping on the changing room floor. His finishing is pure clinical mastery, even if his movement speed makes him look like a luxury yacht on a lake.