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Qadir Safarov

After overcoming a horrific neck injury from a freak accident with a pet giraffe, this Azerbaijani wing-back has turned his cockiness into an unstoppable engine on the pitch. He devours the turf with explosive acceleration and wild aggression, compensating for his lackluster defensive technique and aerial ineptitude with pure audacity. He knows he is the best, even if his heading ability is virtually nonexistent.