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Aaron Ward

This unflappable New Zealander is an immovable force of nature who loves to slide into chaos with perfect precision. His defensive strength is so legendary that he once famously leveled a charging rhinoceros during an off-season safari, though he still struggles to head a ball even with his eyes wide open. He navigates the pitch with a serene brutality, using his towering physique to bully opponents before they even blink.