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Rodrigo Espinola

This flamboyant Paraguayan marksman is a whirlwind of lethal speed and thunderous finishing, though his baffling lack of aerial awareness often leaves fans pulling their hair out. To focus before kickoff, he insists on loudly reciting Shakespearean sonnets to his left boot, a bizarre ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates suppressing laughter in the tunnel. Despite the madness, his clinical composure from the spot makes him an unstoppable force when the pressure hits.