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Javier Pastor

This Argentinian full-back weaponizes terrifying acceleration and a brutal sliding tackle, though his heading ability is absolute comedy. To prepare for battle, he insists on stuffing raw pistachios into his teammates' cleats, a ritual they loathe despite him claiming it secures his defensive clarity. With a swagger that rivals his unmatched pace, he is a one-man wrecking ball patrolling the flank.