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Stian Ruud

This Norwegian wing-back is an absolute lightning bolt who thrives on mocking strikers after executing perfect tackles, despite his comical inability to head the ball. After shattering his shoulder while trying to carry a Viking longship prop solo, he channeled that arrogance into an insatiable need for total defensive dominance. He plays with the unshakeable belief that the pitch is his stage, and honestly, given his blinding speed and aggression, he is usually right.