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Ismael Canha

This cocky Portuguese speedster tears through defenses with explosive pace and a velvet-smooth first touch, though his frustratingly average shooting power often leaves fans groaning. He insists on eating exactly three raw almonds from a designer shoe before kickoff, a ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates constantly questioning his sanity. Regardless of the weirdness, he carries himself like a king and plays with an unwavering arrogance that terrorizes any backline.