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Angelica Caldeira

This Brazilian dynamo terrorizes defenses with world-class skill and sublime dribbling, though her inability to win a header remains a comical oversight. To stay sharp, she meticulously braids her teammates' shoelaces together in the locker room, forcing the squad to hop to the pitch in a hilarious, pre-game chaotic scramble. She compensates for her shaky start with explosive speed once she finally finds her rhythm.