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Donny Logue

With blistering speed and a lethal finish, this arrogant winger destroys defenses before he loses interest in complex dribbling altogether. Before every whistle, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left boot, leaving his bewildered teammates to simply roll their eyes as he storms the pitch. He is undoubtedly the best player in his own mind, regardless of his frustratingly simple style.