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Raymond Leonard

With an ethereal first touch and a genius-level attacking IQ, he dictates play like a maestro despite having the sprinting speed of an aging turtle. He once famously halted a crucial counterattack to argue with a pigeon that strayed onto the pitch, showcasing an assertiveness that is as legendary as his dribbling skills. While he can effortlessly fire absolute rockets from distance, he occasionally gets too fancy for his own good and drifts entirely out of defensive focus.