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Rudy Paoli

This cocky Italian winger dances through defenses with lightning agility, though he often forgets to track back, preferring to admire his own reflection in the stadium glass. He once famously paused his dribble mid-run to sign an autograph for a confused defender before chipping the keeper. His long-range rockets are lethal, provided he isn't too busy trash-talking the opposition to notice the goal.