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Marco Jansson

This flamboyant Swedish central defender pairs his immense physical presence and elite sliding precision with a surprising penchant for arriving at training wearing a bright feather boa, even if his average top-end speed often leaves him lagging behind pacey strikers. Once, during a mid-table clash, he famously celebrated a clearance by striking a dramatic pose for the crowd, only to concede a goal moments later because he was still busy admiring his own reflection in the stadium glass.