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Imam Hargreaves

Despite his agonizingly slow acceleration, this reserved marksman possesses elite finishing skills that make him a nightmare for any defense. He obsessively eats a single unpeeled banana before every kick-off to stay calm, leaving his baffled teammates to simply shake their heads at the sight of peels on the locker room floor. His technical touch is world-class, even if his leaden feet struggle to catch a brisk breeze on the breakaway.