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Meera Hall

This English midfielder is an unstoppable force who tears up the pitch with blinding speed, even if her first touch is occasionally clumsy enough to ruin a counter. Before every match, she insists on smearing mustard on her laces to "add flavor to the game," leaving her teammates completely baffled and resigned to their fate. Her overflowing cockiness is felt in every stride, reminding everyone that she is undoubtedly the star of the show.