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Stan Nichols

Fuelled by the trauma of being chased off the field by an aggressive stray goat as a child, this assertive powerhouse has transformed his fear into an indomitable defensive wall. He dominates the midfield with elite strength and lung-bursting stamina, effortlessly sliding into tackles to stifle any opposition. While he can shut down any attack with a masterclass in aggression, he remains notoriously hopeless at heading, often misjudging aerial balls as if they were still hungry goats coming for him.