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David Pittet

This Swiss defensive titan dominates the air with supreme timing and elite tackling, though his modest stamina forces him to strike hard and fast. Before every whistle, he religiously insists on polishing his left boot with a piece of dry Emmental cheese, a bizarre ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates constantly checking their own cleats for lingering scents of dairy. He remains an unstoppable force in the box, turning every opponent's attack into a dead end.