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Dermot Keogh

This arrogant Irish maestro dominates the air with surgical precision, though his lackluster brute strength often forces him to rely on his electrifying footwork and ego. Before every match, he insists on peeling a single grape with his teeth to ensure "juicy" luck, leaving his teammates both baffled and annoyed by the sticky mess. He runs the pitch with unshakeable confidence, treating every goal like a personal triumph against reality.