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Valentino Vallejos

This calm Argentine center-back rules the air with stone-cold precision and lightning-fast reactions, though he possesses a famously clumsy sliding tackle. Before every match, he insists on keeping a single dry lentil in his mouth until kickoff, a quirk that leaves his teammates both baffled and annoyed. While his defensive reads are impeccable, his pre-match habit ensures he usually sounds incoherent during his final instructions.