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Thierry Labrousse

This assertive French defensive midfielder acts like a guided missile, utilizing blistering acceleration and surgically precise slide tackles to evaporate opposing attacks. Once, he famously slid from the halfway line to dispossess a striker mid-sprint, laughing as he regained possession despite his comical struggle to win an aerial duel. While his dominance on the deck is peerless, don't ever ask him to contest a header unless you want to see a frustrated shrug.