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Adie Newman

With close control that borders on telepathic and lightning-quick feet, this flamboyant winger dances through defensive lines, even if his erratic balance occasionally sends him tumbling mid-pirouette. He once arrived at a rainy local cup final in a custom gold-plated tracksuit, only to celebrate his match-winning assist by performing a full breakdance routine on the muddy turf. While he possesses world-class flair, his clumsy agility often makes him look like a ballet dancer who occasionally forgets where the floor is.