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Gerard Vasquez

This assertive Spanish striker dances through defenses with remarkable balance, though he consistently fumbles every single header he attempts. To stay sharp, he insists on loudly reciting poetry to his lucky match-day lemon before kickoff, a bizarre ritual that leaves his teammates both baffled and slightly terrified. His explosive speed and high attacking IQ make him a lethal threat, even if he remains stubbornly incapable of scoring a penalty.