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Mohammed Edberg

This fiery Swedish wall stalks attackers with lightning pace and impossible defensive movement, though he hilariously struggles to direct his headers toward anything but the sky. Before every kickoff, he insists on loudly whispering Swedish fairy tales to his shin guards, leaving his teammates both bewildered and mildly terrified by his focus. Despite his chaotic rituals, his predatory defensive instinct makes him a nightmare for any forward to face.