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Eric Ali

This lightning-quick Cameroonian winger dances past defenders with world-class skill, though his frustratingly stiff agility often leaves him tangled in his own feet. Before every whistle, he aggressively brushes his boots with a strawberry-scented eraser to gain his composure, leaving his teammates both baffled and slightly nauseated by the smell. He plays with the arrogance of a legend who knows he is faster than everyone else on the pitch.