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Kazi Piggott

This lightning-fast English fullback treats every header like he's attacking a lunch he hasn't been fed in a week, often headbutting the goalpost just to prove his skull is made of reinforced steel. His brick-wall strength turns wingers into ghost stories, though he regularly forgets how to tackle when he's busy admiring his own reflection in the stadium screens. He once got a red card for arguing that his haircut deserved a defensive bonus, embodying a cockiness that is as unstoppable as his pace.