EpicDefqon-Dindon0 views25,000

Ernestine Michels

A human blur on the flank, she shreds defenses with explosive acceleration and surgical dribbling that makes the ball seem glued to her boots. Her low center of gravity renders her nearly impossible to knock off the ball, though she occasionally tries to solve world hunger with a long shot instead of passing. She famously once bypassed an entire defensive line by dribbling through a group of confused pigeons mid-match, leaving both defenders and birds equally stunned.